when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
