literally had 100 drinks last night.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
