I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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