Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
