hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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