Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize