IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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