So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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