he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
