Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
he thought i was a dude.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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