and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
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Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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