Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
