She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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