I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
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