trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
