I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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