Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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