I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
dude i'm inner monologue high
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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