walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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