I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
