we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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