Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
