Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
pray to the hookup gods
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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