hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
