just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
