He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
