I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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