I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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