We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just found puke in my bra..
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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