SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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