so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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