The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize