MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
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I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
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I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
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