The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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