If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
