im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
