My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
