Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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