I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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