she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
