So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize