glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
