There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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