I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
