I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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