You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
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I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
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Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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