So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize