Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize