Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
