I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
