with your own penis?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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