omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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