told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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