woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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