I'm really into asian looking animals
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I think weed is turning my hair brown
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
