FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
