Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
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I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
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I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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