no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
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is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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